Cozy

“Strange place….” Awareness whispered in Ingrid’s ear. “I don’t know this place.”

Ingrid smiled quietly over her shoulder.

“Don’t worry, sweetie. It’s safe. You’ll remember it in a few minutes.”

She felt him shift slightly on her back. He was sometimes skittish, not quite certain of some places and environments. As he warmed up to a place, he would start to relax. Right now, his long tentacles were pulled in tightly between their two bodies, his skin cold next to hers. He seemed a bit hesitant to move too much but his wide eyes were moving quickly around the rooms as she entered into the house.

“Hi!” she called out loudly, sending her voice out before her to alert Bruce she was downstairs. Awareness clenched just a bit tighter at her back, flaring his nostrils. She could hear him breathing with slight pants as he started to register the smell of the unfamiliar house. His tongue danced along his lips once in a while and she felt his body warming ever so slightly as he continued to stare around.

Taking a left, Ingrid headed up the stairs to say hello to Bruce. She was looking forward to seeing him; it seemed like it had been a long day. She wondered briefly what they should do for dinner.

As she moved passed the sofa, she felt Awareness reach a long arm out and touch the blanket there. He warmed another degree on her back as he registered a familiar texture. She moved up the stairs and Awareness looked at the pictures with big empty eyes that said little. She felt his hand slide along the closet door when she passed it and then felt him tuck his cold hand back against her body.

Bruce smiled up as she came in his office, gave her a quick kiss and then moved to join her downstairs. Ingrid felt Awareness shift happily on her back, warming quickly at the sight of their familiar friend. She reached up to hug Bruce and felt Awareness reach, touching his skin as well. His tentacle wrapped around his arm, snuggling in closer, and squeezing just a tad. She smiled to herself. Awareness always delved when he felt comfortable.

Over the evening, Ingrid and Bruce enjoyed each other’s company and Awareness relaxed enough to climb down and explore. He remained within reach of Ingrid, returning quickly after touching a door or staring at a chair. His little body chilled easily in the space and his long arms moved stiffly under the load of hesitation. But he became more relaxed as the evening moved on. Ingrid kept an eye on him, checking to make sure he was alright. She was familiar with this process; they had done it several times over the last weeks. Awareness had to adjust to the new space each time but he was getting quicker at it. She could see that he recognized things around him quicker even though he remained shy of cabinets and corners. Knowing that helped her worry less about him over the course of the visit.

The next morning, Ingrid tucked Awareness and herself in her car and headed towards their side of town. Awareness stuck close to her as he always did when they were away. His body still had the slight chill that he kept away from home and she could feel his alertness darting around. The landscape passing the windows was familiar but still new to his eyes.

“We’re headed home again,” she said quietly to him and reached over to turn on the radio. The familiar voice of the radio announcer seemed to help Awareness calm down. He felt his small body warm up a degree and the tension left a bit of his muscles. He smiled over at her and ran his hand along the dash. His tentacles got longer as the muscles relaxed and she watched him sneak his fingers around the cracks of the door to the glove compartment. After a bit of time, he seemed happy that everything was there and he reached over to touch her hair. His hands had warmed up with the familiar environment and she knew reaching behind closed doors always helped him relax more.

Over the drive Awareness became warmer and chattier. He babbled in her ear about the church off the road to her right and then reminded her that they needed to visit the grocery store. His eyes became warmer, moving with familiarity over the traffic lights while his busy little fingers explored all the nooks and crannies he remembered.
Parking, Ingrid got her bag out of her car and grinned when Awareness scampered up her arm. He liked his ride inside the house. As soon as she opened the door, he was down and running. His little frame glowed with warmth and pleasure. He reached under the couch, found the box he knew was there and grinned up at her. She just laughed and returned to taking care of the unpacking.

Over the next couple hours, she could hear him in the house. Awareness loved to poke through closets for no reason other to know what was in there. He dug into the laundry basket and poked around under the sink. She heard him tapping on the water heater and turning the faucet on just to see the familiar force of the water. When he brushed passed her to reach into a cabinet, she laughed. Always the curious little bugger, he almost seemed to melt around the edges in the eagerness to remember what was in that dark space.

Ingrid pulled together her bag for work. Tucking lunch into the pocket she called softly to Awareness. She found him looking at the pictures on the wall. His eyes were full of memories and laughter when he looked up at her. Grinning, he climbed up to her shoulder to head off with her and she smiled herself as she slipped the key in the door. Awareness snuggled down; his long loose muscles draped quietly over her shoulders and down her back. They looped along her waist, warm and soft. His breath snuffled in her ear, no longer hyper aware of the smells because he knew these by heart. Together, they warmed each other on the walk to the bus.

Laundry Day

Found this in some old files - a bit dusty and could use a work over - but thought I'd put it up anyway. Interesting to see how we change over the years.

***********

“Is his waist really that large?” Stephanie balked at the size of the boxers she was folding. She felt the same jolt of shock when folding his large jeans that were finding their way into her laundry with alarming regularity these days. The jeans looked large enough to wrap around her twice. “Funny, he never feels that large in person.” Her forehead creased in irritation when she tried to reconcile the size of the faded t-shirt in front of her with the man she thought she knew. How had this happened? How had any of this happened?

Fingers slid over the cloth, smoothing and tucking the next shirt into the correct shape in a folding technique was automatic, practiced for years on her petite clothing. Above puzzled eyes, her forehead crinkled again.

Suddenly a hand covered the small of her back and she felt a tall, unyielding presence leaning over her. It was looming, inevitable, blocking out all space and light in the room while it pressed forward, insistent, and unstoppable. Stephanie stiffened, determined to not let it crush her. “You’re a fighter… fighter…fighter,” she chanted to herself to calm the panic.

“Hey sweetie. Thought I’d bring a bottle of wine to go with the spaghetti tonight.” His voice cracked against her and she jerked back from his quick peck on her cheek, heart scrambling to find footing in reality.

“Jesus Fucking Christ! Don’t you knock anymore? You scared the shit out of me… oh God.” She slumped into the bed. Instead of its firm surface she found herself flailing in piles of lumpy socks, tiny underwear and gargantuan sweatshirts and sweaters. Suddenly her entire wardrobe seemed to be made of Velcro and she felt claustrophobic. The rush of adrenaline only fueled the panicked feeling. “Fighter” whispered through her head again and she tore clothes from her, throwing them as far from her as she could.

“Sorry, here” He reached into the mess, laughing. “… Ouch… hold still…Why are you wriggling so much? Good grief, it’s only me. I didn’t mean to scare you. … Damn it, calm down.” He tried to help disentangle his black pants from her legs before she tripped herself and went down again.

She flicked a pillow case off her lap as she calmed. Feeling foolish and embarrassed, she shrugged off his attempts to help. “I’m ok. You brought wine?”
“Yeah, stuck it in the kitchen. I thought you heard me come in. The radio isn’t even on. You ok?” He reached down to help her up and then tilted her head up to him, trying to assess her state of mind.

“Why didn’t you knock?”

“You knew I was coming over. You gave me a key and I never knock anymore. Seems logical. You didn’t have a problem with it last night.” He straightened up indignantly. She shrugged in response.

Turning towards the doorway she shrugged again and shook her head quickly. “No. No. Of course not. Of course it’s alright.” She left the laundry on the bed and went towards the kitchen. She’d concentrate on dinner she told herself firmly. That way she wouldn’t have to keep looking at his polo shirt swallowing her tank top. Determined, she went to go boil some water.

“Want a glass?” A cork popped behind her.

She shrugged, not committing to the idea one way or the other.

“Cold out there. Heard it was supposed to be down to 23 degrees tonight.”

Silence hung between them.

He tried again. “You’d be proud. I think I finally figured out that excel sheet that was giving me crap yesterday. ‘Course it was just some silly mistake on my part; Jerry started laughing so hard when I told him what I had done that I don’t think I’ll ever live it down.” He paused, continued. “But, at least it’s done and I don’t have to worry about it anymore for the rest of the night.” He cocked his head, swallowed some wine and watched her stiff shoulders. Then he took a deep breath, which raised his shoulders, and stepped forward.

“Isn’t that good?” She felt his breath on her ear as he leaned down and spoke in a quiet, humorous tone. Surprise and tension jerked through her body, his head bounced of the cabinet and the burner sizzled when the sloshed water hit it.

“Jesus Christ! What’s with you today?” It was his turn to swear.

“Nothing…Everything.”

He loomed.

Something snapped in her and she rounded on him. “You’re everywhere! You take up room in my washing machine. You sneak up on me, walk into my space unannounced. You stand over me, look down on me. You’re twice my size and you take up too much space in my house. You’ve got a bottle of shampoo in my shower, a toothbrush next to mine and shaving cream stashed under the sink.” She tried to remember to keep her voice reasonable. Hoping to calm herself so she could make sense of what was going on, she started to pace.

He watched.

“I’ve got your jeans in my dirty clothes. You just show up in my bedroom, unannounced and suddenly I’m planning dinner for two. Even at night there’s an arm pressing me down. You hover over me with a glass of wine and I’m trying to just stay afloat.” She stilled and turned slightly away from him. Her hands were shaking.

She stirred the sauce. She could feel him behind her. He was now just as tense as she was. Out of the corner of her eye she watched him poured a glass of wine. The focused deliberateness in the action told her more than words would have. He handed it to her and looked down at her. He took a sip of his own wine.
She sipped the wine.

Time stretched.

“Stephanie… You’re 5 foot 1. Of course I’m twice your size.” The controlled tone of voice kept her still and unsure of what was coming. He continued quietly. “I don’t hover or loom. I didn’t realize I was pressing myself on you unwanted.” She felt poised to run if she needed to. She knew she was reacting a bit irrationally and that she should calm down, back off. She couldn’t.

“I know.” She mumbled, embarrassed from her outburst. “It’s just my house has been my house for so long. All mine and just mine. It’s weird to fold your laundry and have you taking up space in my bathroom.”

Sauce bubbled.

“You slipped in unexpected, uninvited. I watched for it this invasion but didn’t see it until now. All these little things just built up under my nose without me noticing. And, now you’re here. Looming, large and cumbersome” His eyebrows rose at that and he set his glass down on the table. “And your pants are big and take up too much room in my washing machine.”

“Uninvited?! Now I’m some kind of invader?” He stepped to his coat. “I didn’t realize I was imposing myself upon your good graces. Despite my size, I’ve never used it to intimidate anyone into tolerating my presence.”

She watched him shrug into his coat and felt a shift. A different panic was beginning to set in and she took a step forward. “Don’t –“

“I’ll leave you to your house. I’ve got better things to do then to stay where I’m not wanted.” He clipped his words when he was angry.

She felt frozen, not knowing what to do. She wanted the safety of her cocoon but she didn’t want to see him leave. She reached for her wine and tried to think faster than the door was shutting. She failed and the silence pressed in on her. The lack of his presence rose in her mind; it took up so much space she felt she couldn’t breathe. She shook her head and turned back to the stove.

The empty table with the half empty wine glass loomed at her back.